Success: Wellness, Luck and the *Revised* Golden Rule
JR
In Warren Buffett's final shareholder letter, he gave the kind of sage advice for life that you would expect from this truly great man.
You can read it here:
https://www.berkshirehathaway.com/news/nov1025.pdf
It speaks to me because wellness is a major focus in my life.
Like most people, my life is a mixture of incredible blessings and some difficult challenges.
I have my health, two wonderful, healthy daughters, an engaging and successful career, great friends and rewarding hobbies.
Personnally I have also known the pain of a broken marriage, betrayal, and divorce. Professionally, (like many other entrepreneurs) I have stared into the void with bankruptcy looming just hours away, taking stock of my options and pondering how I might navigate the worst.
But for me, the good has far outweighed the bad, and those difficult seasons are when I've learned the most about myself and the world.
Buffett inspired this post with his mentions of luck and the golden rule in his letter.
Luck is an important component that we can often forget to be grateful for.
Every good thing that's happened in my life is probably a combination of good luck plus my actions and reactions in those moments.
Every bad thing that's happened is likely a combination of bad luck coupled with my actions and reactions in those moments.
In the good times, I've learned to double down on what is work working and maintain momentum.
I've also learned that during the bad times, it's important to work hard to maintain physical health in the face of emotional strain and to learn from what's happening.
As Buffett notes, kindness and empathy along the way are so very important.
I've also learned one very important twist on the golden rule. This twist acts as a multiplier and has dramatically improved my personal and professional relationships.
Instead of "do unto others as you'd like them to do to you,"...
Do things to help others FEEL the way you would like to FEEL.
This is important for the following reasons:
- Because of our individual life experiences, each of us feels different in response to different things. Different things are important to us. There are all kinds of personality tests and "love languages" to help expose these differences in our professional and personal interactions. Understanding the communication and interaction style of the other person—and doing the things that make them feel good—pays dividends. Communicating what makes you feel good helps them reciprocate.
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- To do this, you have to understand the other person more deeply. You need to understand their needs, desires, and preferences. Doing the work to figure this out leads to deeper relationships.
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- You have to understand yourself—what you want, what you need, and how you react to things—to communicate your preferences to others. Possibly even more important, you can recognize when you might be trying to give someone else what YOU want, not necessarily what THEY want. Bonus: Being honest and introspective with yourself always leads to growth, sometimes in ways you might not expect.
When you can cultivate relationships where both people do this well, the harmony and collaboration are incredible. When you can do this with a cohort of people whose talents complement yours and your talents complement theirs, the probability and velocity of success go way up!